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Misc: Hardcore Chinchilla

runic_binary in deathaccountant

Fic time!

Title: You Think You Know Someone
Pairing: Blueno/OC Hey, he has his own community now and he needs a love interest. Besides, this one is as far from Mary Sue as humanly possible.
Rating: PG, I guess
Word Count: 626
Summary: Fukurou attempts to stalk Blueno and his new girlfriend. Kaku didn't even know Blueno had a girlfriend. When did this happen?

Kaku still hadn’t readjusted to the constant sunlight—he never could tell what time it was without a clock. He’d have to work on that, but in the meantime he guessed it was maybe 7 o’ clock in the evening when Fukurou burst into the break room, looking around as if he were afraid he was missing something important.

“May I help you?” said Kaku, who was filling out forms and didn’t have the time to be talked at for an hour.

“Did you see Blueno’s girlfriend go by here?”

Kaku blinked. “…His what? He has a girlfriend?”

“Yes, I heard she came in looking for him ten minutes ago, but I haven’t been able to find her and I want to find out what they’re doing tonight before they leave. I have to know these things…”

“Wait, since when does he have a girlfriend? I didn’t know about this.”

Fukurou looked at him blankly; he never seemed to be able to understand people who weren’t up on all the latest information. “Don’t you remember that woman who came in last week asking where he was? She’s the tall one, dark skin, long hair in a braid, somber expression…she was wearing a gray suit, chapapa.”

Kaku thought. “…Yes, I think I remember her…she shook my hand and said her name was Rookmina and asked if I knew where Blueno was. That was his girlfriend?”

“Why else would she have been looking for him, chapapa?”

“I assumed he was being audited or something. I didn’t even know Blueno had a social life.”

“Well, she is a tax collector,” Fukurou said, glancing at the ceiling. “Anyway, you would be surprised what you learn about people when you do a little investigation—apparently he met her in the downstairs lobby while looking through the sports section in the news. They have the same favorite team. Anyway, they’ve been dating for two weeks and she lives on the other side of the island, by the—”

“Okay, that’s…that’s kind of creepy, actually. Look, I haven’t seen them, but…good luck?” There wasn’t much Kaku could think to say to someone who was effectively stalking his coworker for gossip fodder.

“Thanks,” Fukurou said absently, already plotting a search plan. He pulled his zipper shut and exited the room, looking determined.

Kaku generally found it best not to try to understand his coworkers.

He was in somewhat of a paperwork trance when, five minutes later, the door opened again. Mildly startled, he looked up to see Blueno headed across the room, presumably to get the coat he’d tossed onto a chair earlier. Leaning against the doorframe was the girlfriend, tall and dark and solemn as before, but dressed a little less like a tax collector and more like someone prepared for a date. She caught Kaku looking at her and nodded once in polite acknowledgment, and so did Blueno on the way back from retrieving his coat. When he reached the doorway, he offered her his arm, which she accepted with the barest hint of a smile—Kaku couldn’t tell if it was returned or not—and then they left the room, closing the door behind them, and that was that.

Kaku pondered this for a moment. There was something about Blueno having a life outside of his job that was…slightly incomprehensible. Kaku tried to remember if he’d ever seen Blueno doing anything unrelated to killing things or filing paperwork or putting up with the insanity of his coworkers, and came up dry.

…But it was good that he had a social life, probably. Everyone needed one.

Which led Kaku to wonder when the last time he’d done something non-work related was…

He was going to have to finish this paperwork very soon.




Everything about Blueno is very sensible.

I'm sure that was probably somewhere on his list of reasons for asking her out. I mean, the list probably went like "1) Is roughly as obsessed with her job as I am. Will not mind that work is mostly all I talk about. 2) Has more things in common with me than most people do. Slightly groundbreaking. 3) Attractive. 4) Seems to enjoy spending time with me. Also slightly groundbreaking. 5) Enjoy spending time wither her as well. 6) Do not mind that work is also mostly all she talks about. 7) Probably on my side in the event of tax difficulties."

Because you know he thinks things through to a degree that seems somewhat ridiculous to most people. In fact, number eight on the list is probably that she thinks things through too much as well.
Yay, you gave Blueno a girlfriend! I think I like her; they must look so boring together, I bet no one else gets them! XD And I like how you write Fukurou: "I have to know these things…”

"Which led Kaku to wonder when the last time he’d done something non-work related was…" Aww, Kaku! ;_;
Everyone probably thinks they are the dullest couple ever, and likely they spend most of their time together talking about work. But that's okay, because it means they have lots in common, and they enjoy each other's company so it doesn't matter that people think they're lame. :D

Kaku has not had time to do anything since The Incident. Which only makes him wonder how Blueno, who is normally a far sight more responsible than everyone else, had had time to do anything either. And now he feels inadequate. That feeling will lessen significantly after a few drinks, though, so it's all good.
Their dates would be so boring for Fukurou to spy on XD

Poor Kaku =( No extracurricular activities at all? Is Lucci too busy sulking?
Lucci is busy sulking, beating things up, and spending a lot of time in a terribly thoughtful silence while looking menacing in the dark. Kaku is waiting it out.
Poor boy, the things he puts up with! Wonderfully appropriate icon you've got there XD
I know. Saw it on deviantART, had to have it. With all Kaku puts up with from the fandom, he needs an emo moment icon dedicated to him.

Somehow, though, I bet he kind of gets a kick out of Lucci being resolutely sullen, in a guilty sort of way. He probably teases him mercilessly as long as he can get away with it without losing limbs.
'With all Kaku puts up with from the fandom, he needs an emo moment icon dedicated to him.'

What ever do you mean? The fandom LOVES Kaku, they put him in plenty of fics, and in such interesting situations!

Now, as for the fic, I think I just sprained my parietal lobe trying to imagine those two making out. It just...I mean...um...help? That being said, hell yes, Blueno just met his soul mate.
Of course the fandom loves Kaku. But see, fangirls (and boys) tend to display their love by torturing the hell out of the character in question. It is the way of fandom.

...yeah, see, I hadn't actually imagined the making out part. (I think I was trying not to.) But really, I think they don't really make out-- they are far too Mature and Sensible for things like that. They're both so boring. XD
I had imagined them making out. And I laughed - a lot - and then realised that yes, they are too Mature and Sensible for that and their sex life is probably... functional? At best.
Bugger, now I'm imagening their sex life. -_o
Of course you are. XD Honestly, it is probably the most whitebread sex ever. They're very, y'know, starchy people. And they have schedules to maintain.
Missionary position for five minutes every night.

They use a timer.
I can so imagine Blueno's girlfriend. Gosh, the moment I turn my back you guys go and make cool new comm that I just have to join. Curse you!

August 2008

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